yellow and purple clouds

We have arrived here. So, here we are, trying to write glorious truths simply with simple words. What do you feel? What do you need? When combined it comes to, what do you feel you need?

The sun is shining pleasantly and so far it’s been cool. The breeze—and we use that word lovingly usually with a smile, laugh, or smirk—wafted in my sliding door/window earlier. In making a story, I told Old Fuzzy, the breeze had me plastered against the far wall, and I had to fight my way back to the door/window to slide it shut, leaving only a small crack for air …

Yes, a good story and entertaining, even if not quite true. Old Fuzzy opted to head out to a more profitable pasture, or in reality,a more profitable field. We’ve experienced for several years a drought. Water levels fell and were at dangerous levels. In the last few months, the pendulum swung the other way. We have received abundant amounts of welcome rainfall. As usual, there is a double-edged sword.

The old proverb says, “All sunshine makes a desert.” And whereas that may be true, forty days and forty nights of rain “a deluge makes” as well. As in all of life, it takes both sunshine and rain in the right amounts to sustain life. At one point we needed the rain, and then we needed some dry weather in order to plant field crops as well as garden plants.

I gave up hope of getting the crops in last week. We don’t plant a large cash crop acreage but we still must have dry weather for the planting. It seemed as if between the rain and storms, we were coming to the point where there wouldn’t be enough time to finish the growth and maturity cycle by the end of summer.

So, today everything came together. The tractor worked, the planter had been repaired, the bags of seed were ready, and against all odds, the weather cooperated. Now, the field crop is in. I’m thankful.

Of course, I wish we could have all our ducks in a row—The ability to do what we need to do in an organized time and manner. Yet, no matter how hard I try there is always a worm in the ear somewhere. Always a wrinkle in life and I find that the best-laid plans of mice and men, not only don’t go as intended, but they will not go as planned.

Back to the idea of what we feel we need. In this case, I felt I needed dry weather in which to plant crops and garden. Though that could be part of what we did need, a large part of what I always need is a huge dose of faith. I know what I have is a small faith, and the struggle is real.

It’s easy to say, Thy will be done, when there isn’t a test. When everything is going the way we want, we’re doing well. When we aren’t getting what we want, and we let it go—that’s difficult.

A practical takeaway from this is … I don’t know. We know what Jesus tells his disciples. “Oh ye of little faith.” We also know his example of faith and deep prayer. I’m sometimes reminded of a passage from one of my favorite books, Laddie, by Gene Stratton Porter.

The passage deals with Little Sister’s older sister preparing to marry her sweetheart, Peter. For some reason, Sally has an emotional outburst concerning who the guest list will be, and as she’s speaking, she’s also tearing at a bonnet in her hands, and nearly crying, saying “I don’t care …”

Her father calms her by saying, “Which means that you do care, very much.” And he continues by giving her a slate to write who her choice of guests might be. Often when we say things like, I don’t care, as Father Stanton said, it means we do care very much.

Perhaps, if we first admit, Lord I do care very much here. I am trying to believe you have my best interest at heart. I’m asking you to help me to not just believe, but trust. And in the end, help me to accept your will along with that trust.

Over the years, I’ve acknowledged when Jesus says:

(Luke 17:6) “And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.”

That points to us as not having sufficient faith. I have accepted it as something that would always be true. I would always be lacking in faith, no matter what I did. That isn’t the way it must be. Unless we choose not to grow our faith.

People affirm that at the point when they stopped kicking on the floor, trying to influence God to ‘see it their way’, life changed for the better for them.

I admit, that I usually find myself still kicking on the floor—I don’t know why, perhaps I’m more comfortable kicking on the floor.

“And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.”(Luke 17:5)