And Then There’s That

Here it comes, here it is, and there it was. Thoughts in retrospect.

cropland duiring night time

Here we sit the day before Thanksgiving, and it will soon be the day of, and the day after, and… In the good old days on the Friday following Thanksgiving I would get my Christmas card list out and—get my cards done. That hasn’t happened for several years now. I’ve not felt good and there’s that.

Quite a few years ago for some reason, it became a tradition for Thanksgiving to be held at our house. My in-laws, would assemble with us, everyone brought something and there were at least three tables for participants.

We never knew exactly how many we would have but usually anywhere between twenty and thirty people showed up.

Through the years things have kaleidoscoped, faces changing from young to old, to new, to gone… some by chance, some by choice. In looking at pictures through the ages of the family together times I wonder.

I wonder for those who left by choice do they ever think back on those days, and if they do think back, is it with peace as to what has been as better or at least as good days? I’m sure it’s just me and my maudlin mulling, wondering about life and whatnot.

4D chess…How to get there…In a hurry…

The Bible begins with, “In the beginning, God…” And we know that God created the heavens and the earth. He had a plan and it has been existing and unfolding for quite some time.

When I was a young person in sixth grade there were two classmates who during the winter every lunch hour played chess, and I admired how smart they were. I had a chess set but didn’t feel that was as challenging as chess.

It probably wasn’t as challenging, but it may have been more my fault than the game’s. Chess is a challenging game and in recent years there is a new layer to chess called 4D chess. I don’t know the rules to that or how it is played. But I do know chess itself is a game of strategy. The players use well-thought-out plans purposes in their game—unless they are like me.

“I don’t think outside the box. I don’t think inside the box either. I’m still trying to find the box.” So the meme says, and I can attest to that. As I’ve discovered years ago, “If there’s a hard way to do something, I’ll find it…” So many sayings, so little time.

In the writing society, there are generally two main types. One type of writer is known as the “Planster” and the other is known as the “Panster.” The first type outlines and plans out their novel the second sits down and writes “by the seat of their pants.”

Going through self-help courses has been a self-help, but I have discovered that no matter how I try, I’ll never be a planner. When I write a novel I’m often just as surprised by where it takes us as the reader when they read.

Life has a way of imitating art so to speak. I’ve been a planner always working to plot out and be in control of my life. Alas, God has more than once shown me that His plans don’t always match mine.

From the very first when I was going to wait two years to start our family of two children, one boy, and one girl… Yes, it has been an interesting ride, and although not all of it has been pleasant, the main things I wouldn’t change or take a million dollars for.

But how did we get here? We were always in such a hurry, such a rush, but my mind is still working to understand where here is and what it means to be here. I’ve recently asked people who matter, do you trust us?

Is life a gamble like a crap shoot? The winner takes all, and the loser just loses? God has a plan, and as he’s shown me throughout my life, my plans aren’t always his plans. I can attest that I’ve lost control of more than just the weather. The same question comes to me, do I trust God?

As I look around I feel as if I’m playing 4D chess, I don’t know the rules, and I’ve got a blindfold. Life has been a constant struggle like a salmon swimming upstream trying to get back to where it came from—to get home.

It is easy to say loudly and proudly yes, I trust God, as long as we’re walking in the broad sunlight valley, but not so easy in the mountain crags.

Psalms 82:

“1 A Psalm of Asaph. God standeth in the congregation of the mighty; he judgeth among the gods.

2 How long will ye judge unjustly, and accept the persons of the wicked? Selah.

3 Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy.

4 Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked.

5 They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course.

6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

7 But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes.

8 Arise, O God, judge the earth: for thou shalt inherit all nations.”