Each week is different, yet each week is the same. Our plans sometimes come to fruition, and sometimes they don’t.
What did I do this last week? I don’t know. What did I plan to do this last week? I don’t know that either.
I used to make out a list of things to do. This was quite helpful. I would number the things on my list as to what I wanted to do first, second, and so forth. At the end of the day voila! I could look back and see what I’d done.
Those were the days when I had an idea of what I was able to do the next day and I never questioned that ability. That world seems to have disappeared into an alternative universe.
What now exists is a world in which from one day to the next my body doesn’t respond the same. I’ll go to bed thinking that in the morning I’m going to get up and… And I have a litany of things I plan on doing.
But maybe I don’t have a good night of sleep or I would have a good night of sleep IF I didn’t have to get up every hour on the hour for five straight hours. The next morning I’m wiped out for the whole day.
Or maybe I get up and begin working on some of my decided on projects when I time out. That means for all of my good intentions at that point I have no more energy, no more anything left and it’s time for someone else to take over the job I was invested in.
I genuinely don’t know what happened. It sounds trite but I went from a superwoman to what’s left.
This isn’t always easy to come to terms with. I’ve read other people who write about similar problems that come with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. They have similar comments and a common observation is how because they don’t look sick everyone believes they are being dishonest.
People who have been their friends tend to drift away thinking they are being overdramatic. Some specialists insist fibromyalgia doesn’t exist because you can’t measure or touch it to confirm the diagnosis.
And then there is the advice. The advice comes from people who are about half my age and live on the planet I used to live on in the universe that made sense. The universe that said things like plan your work and work your plan.
Some of my readers will understand where I’m at and some won’t. The idea is we need to give people their space. I’m thankful I’ve had my time when I was a superwoman.
At least this time in my life has come about later in life. My heart goes out to those who are young and are going through the winter of their life in their spring or summertime.
3 What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?
4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth forever.
5 The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.
6 The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits.
7 All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again. 8 All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.